As women, we are told how to feel, how to look and how to act every day by a variety of sources, and when we don’t feel the ‘right’ way we place blame on ourselves rather than on the outside world. Every woman is taught to be self-critical – to wonder why she’s herself and not someone better, thinner, taller, brighter, sportier, healthier, more generous, more driven. This behaviour pattern can form a cycle where we look further and further inside of ourselves for the source of the problem, the reason that we can’t quite ‘make it’ and so we end up with our hearts and heads in crisis.
One of the most valuable things that we can do to get ourselves out of this deep hole of market-supported self-loathing is to spend time with a girl friend that has been there, can empathise and would do anything to make you feel better. Women, more than men, are given the space to truly let rip with their friends. We can reveal our darkest, dirtiest secrets, discuss our hopes, fears and dreams and share experiences that build us up in a way that the best diet or the most money can never do.
This project began for this very reason. Sometimes we feel really good or really bad and our friends can be far away. Sometimes we are between good friends and don’t feel like we have that confidante to share our good or bad story with. These are times where a person can almost burst with the weight of their own story. I felt like there was a need for a space where women could know that they were not alone, and that there was someone out there going through just what they were.
The hope was that one day we would have a book of stories that you could give to your sister, your mother or your girl friend. She could read them and feel a bit better either by reading something she identified with and gaining support from that or by reading a really positive story that inspired her to get through whatever she needed to.
It began with a simple email project. I contacted women that I thought might like to be involved and they were asked to invite women that they thought might like to be involved and so on. This process of snowballing helped me to generate enough interest for just over eighty women to start writing stories. Themes were suggested and writing was submitted.
This writing blew me away.
I began to feel that somehow keeping these stories to my self in the hopes that one day they would get published was delaying the process. I wanted the support to start immediately, not sometime in the distant future. A blog seemed like the easiest and most accessible option.
So I present this to you the reader. The women who wrote these amazing stories will remain nameless to protect them. We all know that sometimes we write a story, not for the story to be told but because we need to get it out. It needs to exist outside of us so that we can encounter it and deal with its source. So I cannot thank the writers enough for sharing stories with me and now with you.
I would love you join the project too. You have two options, you can read these, and join us by commenting and sharing your words of support and feedback with the authors. It can be a way to start shaping your ideas about stories you would like to share, or thank the writers for their stories.
Your second option is to join by writing your own story. You may find that something you read here sparks something in you, or rekindles a desire to share one of your first times. If you do have this feeling then I encourage you to write what you feel, write what you need to write, and write honestly.
If you would like to write a story for this blog, please send an email to 1sttimewritingproject2010@gmail.com.
I hope that this blog can stay true to the original aims of this project. I want women to feel like they have a safe and powerful space to be themselves, to share their stories of joy and enjoy those stories, and importantly to know that on the worst day they’ve had so far, someone else knows how they feel and would love to comfort them.
Love,
Jen
A comment from Nicola Vogel on facebook: “Hey Jen – your blog is so fantastic – such incredible people posting such inspiring stories !! I love what you’re doing”
Comment from Che Kershaw on facebook: “jen i love the blog! amazing concept and awesome idea!
yay for women power in the media.”
Comment from Claire Martens on Facebook: “Hey jen. I really like this idea. I was skeptical at first, but then i read the first story and realised that this is no ordinary blog. Very cool…. “
Comment from Pam Murray on Facebook: “Jen…I LOVE the blog. It is completely amazing and is fast becoming my guilty pleasure at the end of a long day (much like facebook used to be!) What a fantastic idea. Well done you for giving women such a safe and healthy environment in which to tell their stories. Awesome. “
From Laura Harman on Facebook : “amazing website/blog jen, ive been telling ladies and gents all about it in korea! incredible idea.”
From Lindsay Smaill: “Just wanted to let you know that I’m absolutely LOVING your ‘first time’ blog. I wait for your latest entry everyday and when it pops up on facebook I can’t wait to read it
It’s a fantastic idea and the writing is always so beautiful, brutally honest, and just wow 
So thanks 
”
From Eira Brown on Facebook: “Just wanted to say that I love your first time blog. It is really poignant and beautiful and a brilliant idea. I am sitting having a sniffle right now!”
What a beautiful idea. I am one of those, that process though thought to keystroke. It’s so random that I found this blog that it must be kismet. The stories are amazing and wonderful and so incredibly comforting. We are all fine! Thanks dearly for your effort in putting this together.
Thank you so much. I love this blog. I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with my blog and facebook readers. I just had to share some of the stories, of course I used a link so they will read the stories here. Just wonderful. Thank You.
Thanks Jennifer, Share away! Glad you enjoy it and feel free to submit your own stories.
Love,
Jen
Hi, nice to meet you !
Hi Jen,
What a fantastic idea! As a woman, I understand the power of having a space to offload when it feels that the subject is too delicate, or it feels that a strong enough sounding board isn’t available.
Thanks for thinking of it!
Regards
Hilary
Please let me know if you would be willing to be a guest blogger on my blog? Thanks.
Hi there,
Sure, just send more information to the email address 1sttimewritingproject2010.wordpress.com
I am glad to be one of the visitors on this great website (:, thanks for posting .
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