Tag Archives: religion

February 2, 2011 · 10:14 am

The first time I realised it is not necessary to believe in a god

I have always had a tormented relationship with religion. My memories of going to Sunday school include mental images of me crying or begging my mother not to make me go. My parents eventually gave in and I was no longer forced to go.  I guess I was born with this resistance to religion. I was a curious and sceptical child and asked a lot of questions. I recall being scolded for asking how a bible teacher can truly believe that those who are not Christian are doomed to hell even though in their frame of reference, they know only Islam and only their god. My ‘liberal’ viewpoints were not widely accepted in the small free state town I grew up in and this often got me chased out of classes and excluded from social gatherings that were often organised by the local church.

I once joined such a church group because they were doing great work for the elderly and less fortunate and I wanted to do contribute. Once they found out that I had not been part of the formal classes one has to regularly attend to become a decent member of the church, I was whisked aside and what followed was an intense praying session to try and convince their god that he must open my heart in order to be saved. This also involved phone calls to my parents to inform them that they were doing me a huge injustice by not guiding me in the proper religious ways. Needless to say, this just strengthened by no-religion stance and put me off ‘believing’ in a controlled, rule-governed fashion.

During my student years I dabbled in all sorts of things, Buddhism, paganism, and later just labelled myself spiritual until one day I realised that it does not matter. Why wonder and ponder about the after-life and why we are on this planet, when you can rather just marvel at the beauty of life and appreciate it for what it is: NOW? I gradually moved toward an agnostic standpoint and I am now happier and more content than I have ever been.  I do not have any complex academic or even rational explanation of why I choose not to believe in god, I just found that searching for meaning in everything spiritual or religion-based, to me, was fruitless and frustrating.

I cringe every time I attend weddings where they stipulate the wife’s role and that she must obey her husband – and believe you me, in this day and age, among my educated friends, it still happens. Can’t we all just be equal and not worry about what might happen if we die and instead live, love and protect our planet and appreciate the very fact that we are alive and are able to marvel at the universe? I realised it is not necessary to believe in a god and being open and frank about this is very uncomfortable at times – as many people immediately think you worship some dark lord or practice black magic in your spare time. I’m a humanists and a lover of life. Frankly, I’d rather live until I die.

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January 21, 2011 · 9:30 am

The First Time I Was Thankful For My Challenges

My father died when I was seven, too young to really understand what an impact that would be for me. When you’re seven you don’t think “who is going to baptize me?” or “who will give me away at my wedding?” No, that comes later.

We didn’t eat for weeks. And neighbours brought oodles of food to us. All most all of it went bad. But little miracles helped us though the really tough parts. Once we came home and the house smelled of him. We just came in and sat down; we fell asleep huddled like puppies on the living room couch. And a few others that are a little too personal to share (even anonymously).

Flash forward three months.

My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. He lived for four months. And at the tender age of eight, I had to find myself. I know women now that are much older that I, that have no idea who they are. But when you are confronted with challenge after challenge, it becomes necessary.

Now flash another two years.

We moved in with my grandmother (who is diabetic) and my grandfather (who is disabled and in a wheelchair). Between the two of them, we had to call an ambulance at least six times in the first year! It is scary to live with older people.

But through all of the challenges that I have had I know that they were meant for me. That I needed to learn from them. And that the people around me needed to learn something too.

I would even go as far as to say that I am lucky. I have an amazing family that loves me, and great religious leaders that guide me in the right direction and even better friends. I am lucky because I have found a testimony of god, time and time again. I am lucky because I can’t hold a grudge, my uncle still blames the doctor for my father’s death. But I am lucky because I know that there was nothing that he could have done and I know that God needed him more that I did.

I could go on and on about little things that happened to me, but I would rather focus on the good. I am thankful for my challenges, because they make me stronger.

Now, I am a healthy 15 year old that has her whole life in front of her. And I can’t wait to face it head on!

 

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January 10, 2011 · 9:34 am

The First Time I Realized Death Was Unavoidable

When I was around 12 years old, I realized that death is inevitable and that all I ever work for and gain in my life will just be lost one day when my life ends. My body will then be placed into a finely crafted casket and put into a 6-foot deep hole with a headstone saying something nice about my life. The question I have then is, why do we work hard to have this fabulous life when, one day we will all end up in a claustrophobic hole for all of eternity?

Why must human lives end? We are the most developed species on the planet and hold all of the knowledge that will support future generations. Every time I would think about this, I would get very scared and a little lighthearted at the thought of what I would do for all of eternity. Would I see the sun blow up? How will I spend all of my days? There is a sense of time here on earth, but in death is there anything like that? What happens when you die? All of these questions were stirring around in my head when I was a mere 12 years old.

Not only did I become scared of this inexorable death, but I also began to question the idea of believing in a God. If he really did love us, then why would he let us die? If he really did exist, then why would he want all of his hard work in creating us to just be forgotten? The neurons in our brains die along with us and the possibility of life after death is unrealistic from a scientific standpoint. However, if you look at it from the religious side of things, then death is just another passage into a different stage of “life”. Is believing some higher power like God worth it all throughout life even if there ends up not even being a heaven or hell or even purgatory? What if the Greeks or Romans were right? What if we are reincarnated? There are so many theories floating around in the world that how can somebody be sure of what they want to believe or where they want to end up for ALL OF ETERNITY? What if I don’t like it there? What if it’s a place with all of the people I disliked in my life?

As I grew older and had more experiences to base some of my thoughts about death, I sort of decided that we will all end up in the same place, and hopefully it’s a place that we all like and be happy for the rest of time.

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