I’m not entirely sure that anyone can ‘pin down’ the expression of ‘being in love’ because everyone experiences it on a different level and also expects different demands to be met by their partners.
I do know this about love; it is about compromise, incorporation of a different upbringing, accepting faults that you think you may just commit murder should he/she do it one more time, loving the person unconditionally and being prepared to be their punching bag when shit hits the fan in their lives. I think that until you can live with, and accept, the bad qualities in a person, only then could you be close to being ‘in love’ because anyone can live with the “good stuff”.
I have been brought up in, what is classed by society as, a ‘broken home’. I have seen things that have been so far from love that it makes it difficult to believe that marriages can ever function purely on a level of love; mental, physical and emotional abuse, divorce, affairs, attempted suicide, deception, anger and most of all regret. However, having survived all this bullshit and still being able to be the person I am today, one who loves, cares and is affectionate, I am, with much regret to the ‘love pessimists’, a person who believes ‘love prevails’.
My ‘shaky’ upbringing has taught me one invaluable experience – love is inseparable from COMMUNICATION! No marriage, friendship or relationship can function without it no matter how big or small the example or situation. Why waste the time playing mind games and skirting around issues that only create mountains out of mole hills? If you really love someone you owe it to them to be straight down the line, explain how you feel and communicate what is going on in your very complex, concealed mind.
Unless you are in a relationship with a mind-reader, I am not too sure how you expect someone to figure out your interpretive body language, saying yes when you actually mean no, or being an outright bitch because your partner should’ve sniffed out what was really going on with you. Don’t be that girl / boy that causes shit when you out because you want to feel that your partner loves you when he / she has been ignoring you for an hour or two. Fighting gives most people a false sense of security; if your partner gives you the reaction you are after, by getting stuck into a fight with you, you feel satisfied that you have that power to bring all their attention back to you. This is such a silly notion, and often stirred up by alcohol, so avoid it because you can and also because no matter how strong your love is, there is only so much a person can take of childish mind games before you’re out on the prowl looking for someone else to put up with your shit.
Embrace the times you have out with your friends, feel confident that your partner loves you because at the end of the day if they are going to cheat on you there is absolutely no amount of fighting, smothering or flirting with other people that will stop it and rather you experience it early stages of the game.
Along with that, the experience of loving someone is so fulfilling and exciting, until they give you reason not to love them … so give it a try, you have nothing to lose!