Bees do it, birds do it. One of life’s greatest allures and pleasures is that of sexuality. From the childhood wonder years, to adolescence and adulthood, the need is always there to establish a connection of a sexual nature with another.

My awareness of sexuality began at a very young stage. I remember vague feelings of it being a taboo, something I vehemently denied knowledge of when others spoke of it. In my teenage years, my mother’s religious beliefs were fostered onto me, and she regarded sexuality with disdain and she still does. Throughout high school I held my virginity as my most valued possession, to bestow upon my prince who would marry me and we would live happily ever after.

Going to varsity burst my bubble as my raging hormones eclipsed my happily ever after.

I met OD, who courted me for a long time. You can gauge the quality of the sex by the kissing, I believe. The kisses with OD were wild, passionate and filled with a hunger for more. I was ready to tear off our clothing, and when we did, the experience was of such an intense nature, there was no going back. Our appetites were voracious and demanded attention, we tended to that raging fire at any opportunity we had alone.

Day, night, outdoors, even on the floor.

I was lucky enough to share my first experience with a partner sensitive enough to my needs during this journey of discovery. He was very patient with me, as it took some time between the courting and the wild passionate kisses to crossing over the barrier. I can remember the overwhelming feeling of joy and gratitude that showed in his face after the first time… the soft pecks on my skin, and the lightness of his fingers tracing my skin. This allowed me to embrace my sexuality and not fear it or be ashamed of my sexual needs.

This also liberated me to be a woman who can enjoy a sexual relationship without any expectations of a marriage proposal. This kind of liberation comes with pros and cons. As a woman you must retain control of your body, you make the choices of who you let near. It also comes with responsibilities – you must protect yourself from any infections and diseases by carrying your own protection. It also comes with negative labelling from the society at large, hence the hush-hush around the topic.

Sexual intercourse is a divine gift, when two bodies are intertwined in perfect unity. That’s what you call making love.