The First Time Something Embarrassing Happened During Sex

It was mortifying.

We were each other’s firsts, and spent many a missed lecture period exploring one another’s bodies as though they would run out. It was a daily activity and we seemed unstoppable. Everything was new, Everything was exciting. Except this. This, was, mortifying.

We were trying out several new positions that day and so there was much, well, in and out. I was bending over, about to roll beneath him when something unexpected and entirely new happened. Somehow, what went in was air and what went out was an inordinately loud fanny fart. I was mortified.

It was loud and I felt it shake inside of me. I immediately rolled over and to my horror he was in stitches, laughing as though his stomach would burst. Let me just tell you that there was no oxytocin in the room that evening. I was so embarrassed I began stammering, mumbling, saying anything that came into my head all the time thinking – how will I survive this???!!! I couldn’t take the laughing any more so kicked him out, flung myself on my bed and sobbed. It was mortifying!

Why didn’t any of the women’s magazines tell me about this? How was I to know to expect it? I was completely shocked and couldn’t believe that it had happened. I was afraid it would happen again and I wouldn’t know how to stop it.

When I calmed down and talked about it with him, we realised that all that inning and outing had pushed some air up. With all the bum lifting and squeezing I’d been sucking it all inside me ready to release it when the pressure was off like a balloon that has its end opened.

After many more years practice at the position exchanging, I’ve learned to recognise the feeling of air inside me and push it out voluntarily. At least now I’m less surprised! The fanny farts are still embarrassing, but I guess that’s the price you pay for having good sex.

6 thoughts on “The First Time Something Embarrassing Happened During Sex

  1. Haha! Don’t worry! We were doing it for the 3rd time, about 2 weeks ago. I had already heard about this fanny fart thing when I reas it happened to a girl during yoga. I’m a blusher so obviously my face just started blooming bright red and he asked me, “Did you just fart?” and I said “No… I think it was an er, um, fanny fart or something”. He laughed and was completely okay with it. We were actually talking about it yesterday and he asked me if I felt very embarrassed, and to be honest, the fact that he was so nonchalant about it made me feel fine!

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  2. OMG its really really embARASSING especially when ur like me and i’ve never had sex i mean seriously i cant even use a tampon(lol to much info). this happens to me when i do power yoga and i get to the more complicated positions and its usually when i hav one leg up in downward dog.
    luckily it wasnt that bad but the first yoga class i wnt to was horrible when i farted. but when i do yoaga at home and it gets more complicated i fanny fart and its like really big ones and i can like feel it coming out and when im done i get them too and now i read like all these things about it happening during sex and seriously y isnt there already enough things to think about.

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  3. Hahaha!! I had my first fanny fart with an ex of mine.. He was my almost first- my first sex partner doesn’t really count as my first, lol.. He was in stitches and explained to me what was happening.. It happened numerous times after that and we just laughed about it.. Like the author says, it’s the price you pay for good sex 🙂

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