Ok, so around half the population has one. I quite love mine and my partner also does, actually. She loves hers too, although I love hers more than she does and I love hers more than I love mine.
Hers is pretty. No, really, it’s the perfect one, all neat and tidy and beautifully coloured. And hers tastes amazing. It’s the best taste in the entire world. I love it more than chocolate and if you know how I love chocolate… I obviously don’t know what my own one tastes like, but I’ve tasted quite a few and hers is definitely the best one. Mmmm, SO good.
Enough of that now. I first knew I had a koekie and not a tottie when I was around 4. It was the first time I had ever seen the other version of what is in a person’s pants and it belonged to my father’s youngest brother. I can’t remember particularly liking or disliking it; I knew it was different and I knew instinctively that I wasn’t supposed to be so close to his or he to mine.
We were caught and for many many years after that the strongest feeling I associated with my vagina was that of shame. Of being shamed. Of being liked for some little part of me that wasn’t supposed to be seen or touched. That wasn’t supposed to be the post important part of me. To my uncle it was my most prized possession; to me it brought a mixture of shame and pleasure.
Unfortunately being sexually abused from so young awakens sexual desire far too early. If all the victims of abuse didn’t have vaginas that often reacted with wanting more, we wouldn’t all have needed so much therapy. If we only simply hated what was being done to us, it would be uncomplicated. But our bodies sometimes liked it and ached for more.
When the abuse ended after a number of years, I knew I had a powerful little tool tucked away between my legs. A tool to get what I most craved: physical affection. I had many boyfriends, some much older than my young teenage self and although during our encounters my vagina gave them more pleasure than it did me, it was when I was alone and under the covers that I found true satisfaction.
I have just always known how to satisfy myself. My sexual appetite has only calmed down since I turned 30 two years ago and in all that time I did a very good job of keeping myself smiling. The best orgasms I gave myself happened before I met the partner I have been with for almost 10 years. During our relationship I have satisfied myself very few times and more often for her enjoyment than mine. But when she’s away on business for too long, I have my own fun, alone.
I don’t often look at my vagina. I know what it looks like and as I said, I’ve seen prettier ones. I mostly look at it when I suspect something’s wrong, or different. Like the odd little ingrown pubic hair, for instance. One actually has to get a mirror and look to sort out the problem. Oh, by the way, I’m clean shaven. Not waxed – I’m lucky enough not to get many ingrowns and not to break out in rashes from shaving. I’m not fond of any bodily hair and especially not on a vagina. So I keep mine as bald as a baby’s.
In the more hidden parts I have had enough problems. Last year I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and had to have a laparoscopy, cyst removal and D&C done. I also had a Mirena inserted, to sort out my irregular and painful periods. So far, so good, although on one occasion during sex my partner said she could actually feel the little ends of the threads and I lost my libido there and then for a few days. Normally it’s undetectable and I’m completely unaware of it. And I can’t get pregnant, no matter how hard we try!
About sex: I never liked penetrative sex when it was part of the abuse and I never had penetrative sex when I was fooling around with all my boyfriends. But with my partner who loves me and whom I trust, I love it. She doesn’t like receiving it and can’t climax by penetration, but girls, I can! And she knows just how to do it!
So now, being 32, I like having a vagina.
I think we’ve sorted out our personal problems and hang-ups and we enjoy one another, my vagina and I definitely wouldn’t want a penis, neither as a substitute to my vagina or anywhere near it, thanx.