I want to be a great mother one day and maybe that will always be enough. It will always be enough for me because I want to be the mother and teacher to my children my mother never was.
I come from a broken home. Both my parents were complete failures at just being parents. I would have preferred to have them there and be bad at it than to not have them there at all.
I was just 6 years old when I last lived with my mom.
I went to boarding school, stayed with other family members and moved schools a lot in my junior days. I did have support from other family members but it was not the same; it will never be the same.
I have never known what it is like to call my mom when I am sad, to tell her that I just bumped into an ex boyfriend or to have asked for advice when I got my first period. There have been a lot of conversations, a lot of good advice, a lot of laughs and a lot of moments I have missed out on.
Growing up I was surrounded by friends who had the most wonderful homes. At times, it was hard but in the most part I got to experience a very small fraction of family life and I enjoyed every moment. I appreciated the times spent with them and their families – I was experiencing everything for the first time – my friends are my family.
I am blessed to have the most amazing friends and brother who all love me for me and have never once judged me. I know that it is hard for them yet they have never once failed not to be there for me when I needed them most. It has not been an easy ride for me; there have been bumps along the way.
Sometimes I get really sad and wish that things could be different but then reality kicks in and I lift myself up and I tell myself that there is nothing I can change. I know that I will have many more of these sad moments in my life and they will try and get me down but I will not let them. People tell me that they admire the person I have become and the obstacles I have had to overcome in my life.
I have already achieved greatness and I am truly proud of myself. I am happy, focussed and healthy.