The first time I had an abortion I was 16 years old.
I was 2 months pregnant and had just broken my virginity 2 months before. I thought the guy was the one. I loved him to bits. I thought he loved me too. But I was just a foolish kid. I didn’t even know how old he was, looking back on it now he was probably 22 or so.
I remember when I first realised I was pregnant, I just knew it even without taking the pregnancy test. When I went to the clinic to make an appointment for the abortion the nurse asked me how I knew that I was pregnant, had I taken the test because they and I could not be sure until I took the test. I lied and said I had taken the test just because I knew.
It was a Saturday morning when I made the appointment. I had been telling the father of my baby for a while now that I was pregnant, I don’t know whether he believed me and didn’t care or he’s motto was just ‘ignorance is bliss’ but he never took much notice of this fact.
On Monday when I was going to school, I called and told him that I was going to terminate the pregnancy. He gave a weak one line protest saying “Don’t you kill my child” and I hung up the phone.
On Tuesday I woke up and went to the hospital in my school uniform under the pretence that I was going to school to my single mother. I got to the hospital and had to fill out all kinds of consent forms for the abortion. The nurses were anything but sweet. I remeber one nurse in particular who was in the admin department. She was shouting at me commenting on how I was having an abortion in school uniform. She asked me if school uniforms were now the new overalls. It was a long day, I got there at eight in the the morning and left at three in the afternoon with four pills.
The instructions were to push two pills into my vagina at 4pm and the other two 6 hours later. I got home and did as I was told and at around 5 in the morning was gushing blood. It was like a tap was opened in my vagina and I felt like something was just sitting at the opening of my vagina. When I went to the bathroom I felt a soft lump pop out and I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.
I then went to the hospital again in the morning and they made me wait in a small room. After what felt like forever they called me into an adjacent room where I was instructed to lie on the machine they called a bed with my legs stretched out. What happened next just makes me cringe just thinking about it but atleast the nurses performing the procedure were really caring. I was then sent into another room to get an injection and to sleep and recover.
When I woke up, I was sent off to get my medication and ready to go. I remember one of the nurses said to me, “Now you can have your beautiful figure again”. Looking back on the whole experience I am saddened by recalling it but I give credit to young me for having the courage to make that decision. And the father of the baby, never heard from him since that Monday morning phone call.