The first time I had an abortion I was 16 years old.

I was 2 months pregnant and had just broken my virginity 2 months before. I thought the guy was the one. I loved him to bits. I thought he loved me too. But I was just a foolish kid. I didn’t even know how old he was, looking back on it now he was probably 22 or so.

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I remember when I first realised I was pregnant, I just knew it even without taking the pregnancy test. When I went to the clinic to make an appointment for the abortion the nurse asked me how I knew that I was pregnant, had I taken the test because they and I could not be sure until I took the test. I lied and said I had taken the test just because I knew.

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It was a Saturday morning when I made the appointment. I had been telling the father of my baby for a while now that I was pregnant, I don’t know whether he believed me and didn’t care or he’s motto was just ‘ignorance is bliss’ but he never took much notice of this fact.

On Monday when I was going to school, I called and told him that I was going to terminate the pregnancy. He gave a weak one line protest saying “Don’t you kill my child” and I hung up the phone.

On Tuesday I woke up and went to the hospital in my school uniform under the pretence that I was going to school to my single mother. I got to the hospital and had to fill out all kinds of consent forms for the abortion. The nurses were anything but sweet. I remeber one nurse in particular who was in the admin department. She was shouting at me commenting on how I was having an abortion in school uniform. She asked me if school uniforms were now the new overalls. It was a long day, I got there at eight in the the morning and left at three in the afternoon with four pills.

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The instructions were to push two pills into my vagina at 4pm and the other two 6 hours later. I got home and did as I was told and at around 5 in the morning was gushing blood. It was like a tap was opened in my vagina and I felt like something was just sitting at the opening of my vagina. When I went to the bathroom I felt a soft lump pop out and I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.

I then went to the hospital again in the morning and they made me wait in a small room. After what felt like forever they called me into an adjacent room where I was instructed to lie on the machine they called a bed with my legs stretched out. What happened next just makes me cringe just thinking about it but atleast the nurses performing the procedure were really caring. I was then sent into another room to get an injection and to sleep and recover.

When I woke up, I was sent off to get my medication and ready to go. I remember one of the nurses said to me, “Now you can have your beautiful figure again”. Looking back on the whole experience I am saddened by recalling it but I give credit to young me for having the courage to make that decision. And the father of the baby, never heard from him since that Monday morning phone call.

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