The first time I let go

Image from pinterest
Image from pinterest

5 years is a long time. It is 1825 days to be precise and when you are with someone for that amount of time you do fall in love with them, obviously. Myself and my ex had been together for 5 years, we met in high school and it went on from there. He frequented family holidays, lunches and my closest family members’ birthdays. We were happy, we had fun, we laughed, we joked, we fought, we argued and we got on with it. My family grew to love him and we grew close to his family too. For me, there is a lot at stake when the families become invested in a relationship too.

But happy endings are not always on the cards and life takes a turn for the worse when you least expect it and our relationship ended abruptly. The reason for the breakup is irrelevant and slightly stupid but I had high hopes for a friendship afterwards, as naive as that sounds now. You see I had always respected my ex and had always hoped that we could be kind and grown up if we ever did break up but this was not to be the case. We broke up and shortly afterwards he was going out and having fun, his friends were callous and mean and showed little regard for my feelings. It hurt, a lot and it made me wish I had never taken a chance on him. Months down the line now I have not heard a word from him, am I surprised? Maybe not as much as I thought I would be.
Image from pinterest
Image from pinterest

You see, after being with me for such a long time and after my family doing so much for him I expected more, I expected better and now I see maybe I expected too much from someone I barely knew. So maybe I am to blame for being naive and expecting great things of someone but now, a few months down the line I am happy that it ended when it did. Do I regret being with him? No, no at all. I had fun and I was happy. But I can also kind of say that I am happy that it ended, as much as it hurt to start off, he is not the person I believed him to be and he is not the kind of person I would want in my life anymore. I am not bitter, I am not judgmental and I am not angry with him. I am disappointed, there is a difference. But I can honestly say I came out of that situation a much better and stronger person than I was when I went into it. And that is the reason why I can let it go and move on, because I know I deserve more from someone who loves me.

One thought on “The first time I let go

  1. Love this….Its similar to what I’m experiencing. We had been together for 7 years. I am not bitter as well just slightly disappointed at the way things turned out. I was naive and blind sighted by some of things so I cant put the blame on him. Now I have the opportunity to know more about myself and actually not put up with things I don’t like.


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